Stand up for yourself and what you believe in – with life coach Marie Wetmore
In my experience as a life coach, I’ve seen that we can only be truly happy and flourish as individuals when we live according to our values. That means we need to prioritize the things that mean the most to us.
But that takes guts. Especially because other people are going to have opinions about your choices – and they probably won’t hesitate to share them.
Which means part of the process has to include sticking up for your values. And that can be stressful, especially if you suspect it will lead to conflict.
But as your online life coach, let me say this: avoiding your truth and swallowing your voice is tantamount to giving away your power. Think of it this way: our values are inextricably part of ourselves. In some ways you can say our values define us. So when you stand up for your values, you stick up for yourself.
So how do you do it? Let’s look at three ways to stick up for yourself and your values
1. Fully explore your priorities first.
Before you can defend your values, you need to be clear on what they really are. How do they relate to each other? Are some more important than others? Will the choices you make actually serve your values in the long run? Reflect on your values until you know everything you want to say.
2. Practice explaining them on your own, or with someone that can help you.
Standing up for your values is usually easy in theory, but sometimes in the moment we get so stressed out that we can’t think clearly. We lose track of arguments that seem obvious as soon as the conversation is over. We stumble on our words. We get flustered.
But if you practice rationally and calmly explaining your point of view in private, before you’re in the heat of the moment, you come off as confident and articulate when it really matters. Try talking to a life coach, a friend, or anyone that can help you practice your phrasing and give you feedback.
3. Anticipate the counterpoints.
The truth is that a decision may seem black and white us – but to someone else it looks completely gray. Other people have their own perspectives and interpretations of the facts – or they may not have all the facts in the first place. So if you want to stick up for yourself, you have to be prepared to talk about the opposite opinion.
So spend some time brainstorming the counterpoints, anticipating what people could push back on, and think about where they may be confused. Once you have done that, prepare your arguments.
Oh, and if you can make sure your arguments are phrased kindly and nonjudgmentally, you’ll have a much better chance that the other person will actually listen. You want to build a connection rather than making them feel defensive.
What do you think? Have you ever had to stand up for yourself? What did you do?
If you liked this article, check out: I Know I Need to Say No, but How Do We Do It
Set up a complementary VIP discovery session with Marie! She coaches in her Boston area office or anywhere in the world (by phone or on Video Skype).
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